You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
