and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
