I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
