Only a mothe r could love this liver
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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