what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
