you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
