He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
