i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
