so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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