I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
