Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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