I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
