The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
