You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
