just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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