Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
