How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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