Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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