Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
