The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
