I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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