Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Found the puke drawer
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
