grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
