I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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