And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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