Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
