There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
