ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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