I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
