I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Never joke about your clitoris.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
