wat bout pragnant strippers??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
