i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The cops high fived after they tackled you
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
