I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
