He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
