week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
