No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
