so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
