i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
