I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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