Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
