I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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