I'm gonna have a badass scar
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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