Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
