windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
