I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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