These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
