I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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