Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
