The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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