What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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