It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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