I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
