I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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